Hi Reader,

This week, with Valentine’s Day approaching, there’s a lot of conversation about self-care and treating yourself.

But I’d like to talk about something a little different.

Most of the women I work with don’t actually need more bubble baths or spa days.

What they’re missing is something much more basic:

• Time to pause
• Time to reset
• Time to take care of their own needs before they run empty

Here’s what this often looks like:

A client tells me she feels out of control with food in the evenings.

She eats whenever her schedule permits, often working through lunch. She’s busy, productive, taking care of work, family, and everyone else’s needs.

Then at night, after dinner, she finds herself back in the kitchen, opening the fridge and pantry. What do I want?

• Something sweet?
• Something crunchy?
• Just a little more...

And she’s frustrated with herself.

But when we look more closely, the pattern usually isn’t about food.

It’s about depletion.

She hasn’t sat down all day.
She's been eating on the go - or while working.
She hasn’t had a moment that was just for her — no demands, no decisions, no one needing anything.

By evening, her body and brain are seeking relief.

And food is quick.
Food is reliable.
Food is one of the few accessible sources of comfort and pleasure.

There’s nothing “wrong” with this response. It makes sense.

But when food becomes the only way you rest, soothe, or experience enjoyment, it ends up taking on a job it was never meant to do.

When I work with clients to improve their relationship with food, we don’t just look at what they’re eating or how.

We also look at their day.

Where is there space to pause?
Where are their own needs being met?
Where can they build in small moments of restoration before they reach empty?

This doesn’t have to mean more time or elaborate routines.

Sometimes it looks like:

• Sitting down for lunch without working
• Taking a short walk between meetings
• Stepping outside for five quiet minutes
• Calling a friend
• Closing the kitchen after dinner and doing something that actually feels restorative

When your body and nervous system get even small amounts of care throughout the day, the urgency around food often softens.

Not because you’re using more willpower.

Because food no longer has to be your only source of relief.

If Valentine’s Day is about love, this is the version I’d like you to consider:

Not treating yourself.

But making sure your needs matter, too.

What’s one thing you can commit to doing for yourself this week? Hit ‘reply’ to this email. I’d love to know!

Warmly,
Kelly

Kelly Abramson MS, RD, MSCP
Registered Dietitian Nutritionist
Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor
Menopause Society Certified Practitioner
Wellcoaches Certified Health & Wellness Coach
Offering HIPAA-compliant telehealth

P.S. If food has become your main way to cope with stress or exhaustion, this is something we can work on together. You can schedule a free consultation here 📞

Before you go: If you’re struggling to come up with ways to meet your needs because perfectionism is creeping in (most of my clients are perfectionists, BTW!), check out this article for some ideas: Forget Perfection: How to Practice Self Care When You Don't Have the Time​

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